Sometimes I wonder how could I get through these integrals-derivatives- matriks-calculus-hypothesis- programing things and stand on this semester. Well I am not good enough. And the more I try to survive the more I wonder. It's just, how can I survive these semester and start to think that this isn't things I really want.
Well it might be I am not grateful enough to God for all I have and all I have been through also what will coming through. There's a time when I thought that some wanted the place I have now. But things I really feel that this isn't things I really want. But maybe this is the things I really need. The difference about things you need and things you want often clearly seen tho.
Things I really need to do is graduate, get a job and make a life for them. I don't know what will happen in the future tho but I really hope that I can bring some happiness to home. Hope that I can fill the other's prayer. People really good to me but sometimes I think that I am not good enough to them.
I don't know what will happen in the future. I just hope that I can bring some happiness. Some happiness. Some happiness. But the more I try to survive this major the more I thought that I got lost somehow. Feeling excited and worry at the same time. I wonder how cool this major is and worry how I should survive this major. How should I maintain my GPA, the organization, and the social life. Sometimes I wonder about the graduation day, just which way will I take to go there.
Eugh. This matrix really throw me down somehow. How could be a girl who isn't good enough on Mathematics living the Applied Mathematics things on her last three years?
I need to study well. Read all the books. Answer all the question. Running the organization. Maintain my social life. And just stop writing this by now.
Yeah there's a good in goodbye so why I couldn't be good even I am not the best?
