April, 28th
2017
While I choose this thing to talk about it doesn’t mean that
I am going to marry someone in one or two days. It’s not like I’m going to
marry someone in one or two years too. Everybody has this kind of thing on
their mind too so why can’t I? Lately I’ve been thinking that the early twenty
years old is just the right time to take some time and think about marriage. So
take your cup of tea with you and enjoy thinking!
I enjoy watching one of Korean reality show titled We Got
Married. As the title, they show you virtual couple who spends their time as
married couple. The production team give them house to live together and
another facilities to enjoy together too. Well I bet the real marriage life doesn’t
always fit in with things you watch on show right? On show they never quarrel they’re
just having fun. That typical fun when they’re having date on a sunny day in
the amusement park. Or the typical fun when you’re enjoy watching movie
together.
But married isn’t as simple as what you watch right? It requires
lot of things. Responsibility, mental readiness, understanding.. eh just lot of
things to prepare. Married to someone means you’re gonna see your spouse for
the rest of your life. The very first person you see in the morning is your
spouse. The last person you see before you go to bed is your spouse too. You
eat with them. Spending the holiday with them. Taking care of them too. It’s
just all about them. well married isn’t as simple as you think though. Maybe that’s
why I don’t talk about this easily.
Lately I keep listening to some friends who married
earlier. Well to me it’s a big deal. Some of them still on their study but
bravely taking responsibility. Some of them just too young to marry someone I think.
But they’re just doing it. I don’t really know what to expect except may the
bless and happiness keep showering them all the way long. Since I know that
life is still a long long way to go.
One of my cousin is married on early March this year. She’s
still 21 years old. A year younger than me and she’s taking courage to marry
her boyfriend. She’s not going to college of course. She works after she
graduated from high school. And because she live is countryside it’s just the
right time for her to marry someone. It’s cultural though. And she’s pregnant
now. The first challenging first trimester.
Well I’m going to give her a thumbs up for taking courage
and marry off. But I am going to take a deep breathe and think for life she’s
living now. In the countryside, farming almost means that the family is rich. Grandma
told me once that her husband is not working but farming. It’s a shock to me
since I think that when you’re finally going to marry someone the husband to be
supposed to monthly paid or at least have regular salary so the husband can
give ‘uang belanja’ to his wife. But grandma said that it’s not a big deal. Farming
means the family always have rice to cook and vegetables to eat even if they’re
not buying groceries. I guess it’s just not my style than.
My cousin was work at the salon. But as she married early
her husband ask her to stop working. And she’s pregnant and her husband doesn’t
have the regular salary. So how can she support her baby then? I don’t know. I just
don’t know even if ‘semua orang punya rejekinya masing-masing termasuk dedek
bayi’. But this think strike me at first time though. Why don’t you prepared
for your living so you don’t have to live that way?
As I said before marriage isn’t simple things to deal. Tidak
hanya soal pasangan yang harus dihadapi setiap hari selama sisa hidup yang ada.
Tapi juga kehidupan setelah ijab qabul yang barangkali ngga seindah dan semanis
masa pacaran (kalo yang pacaran, kalo yang dikhitbah ngga tau deh ya wqwq). Buat
para calon suami, wajib hukumnya memberi nafkah lahir batin biar dapur tetep
ngebul. Biar ngga sampe nunggak bayar listrik. Biar tetep bisa mandi dan ngga
telat bayar air. Standarnya punya gaji bulanan yang minimal UMR dulu deh. Ngga muluk-muluk.
Karir yang lebih tinggi bisa dikejar bareng si istri setelah menikah. Kalo sebelum
menikah sudah punya jabatan yang lumayan tinggi, karir bagus, bayaran lebih
dari UMR ya Alhamdulillah. Tinggal bagaimana meningkatkan dan mempertahankan
karir baiknya ini kan. Kalau belum ya boleh dirintis barengan.
Buat para calon istri, plis jangan jadi pengangguran
setelah menikah. Well I don’t said that being a full time housewife and mother
is not good, that’s just good enough loh. Dan barangkali juga susah. But as the
time passes by, berkarir buat para wanita ini juga baik. Bisa jadi pegangan
ketika finansial si suami sedang kurang baik. Atau keduanya sedang ingin
mencapai sesuatu yang lebih besar seperti investasi. Bukannya membanggakan
kalau istri juga bisa bantu suami? Atau kalau suaminya sudah cukup dana ya ngga
apa-apa, uangnya bisa dikasih ayah ibu di rumah atau saudara yang sedang butuh.
Tetap bermanfaat kan?
For the mentally readiness, kalau masih belum mampu
mengalah satu sama lain mending jangan nikah dulu daripada merasa sesal dan
merana sendiri nantinya. This thing should be underlined and bold typed since it’s
important. Mengalah ini barangkali bisa disebut sebagai kunci terbesarnya
pernikahan. Salah satu pasti ada yang suka menguji kesabaran. Atau keduanya
belum bisa menyamakan tujuan hidup. Pasti bakalan susah kalau belum bisa
sama-sama mengalah karena tiap hari yang diliat dan ditemui bakalan dia lagi
dia lagi juga. Nikah ngga sehari dua hari. Ngga selamanya bahagia. Pasti ada
naik turunnya. Pasti ujiannya nambah. Tapi pahalanya juga nambah.
At last, I pray that I can deal with this somehow.
Selamat untuk kalian yang berani ambil resiko nikah muda.
Eh tiap orang punya jalannya sendiri-sendiri sih ya. Semoga kalian yang sudah
menikah ini dilancarkan rezekinya, dikasih keluarga yang sakinah mawaddah wa
rahmah, punya keturunan yang baik dan tidak kurang suatu apapun, dikasih
kesabaran dan kekuatan untuk menghadapi ujian yang ada. It’s just
congratulation.
Buat kalian yang belum menikah entah karena belum merasa
siap mental atau karena belum ada pasangan. That’s just okay, jalan tiap orang
untuk ketemu jodohnya beda-beda kok. Mumpung masih sendiri dinikmati aja dulu. It’s
not something you can enjoy twice in your life. Disiapin aja dulu mentalanya. Agamanya
juga diperbaiki. Well, ada benernya juga kata agama soal mempersiapkan dan
memperbaiki diri itu. Enjoy!
